What Do Bridesmaids Do? Duties, Timeline & Etiquette

Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor, but it also comes with real responsibilities that evolve as the wedding approaches. This guide walks you through what to expect at each stage, helping you support your friend without losing yourself in the process.

What Do Bridesmaids Do?

Your core lane as a bridesmaid is simple but powerful:

• Support: be a steady presence—check‑ins, pep talks, gentle reminders.
• Comms: Start one group chat for the wedding party and share pronouns, dietary preferences, and access needs early.
  
• Key events: attend or help plan as agreed (bridal shower, bachelorette party or hens do, rehearsal).
• D-Day help: usher guests, keep the photo list moving, assist with bustle & small dress fixes.
• Optional ≠ mandatory: know your budget and schedule. Participation levels may vary—and that’s okay.

Before the Wedding: Planning and Prep

Talk Money Early

First thing you need to do? Have the budget conversation. Being a bridesmaid often comes with expenses—think dresses, travel, gifts, and more. Open and early communication helps set expectations.

Ask what you'll need to pay for:

• Your bridesmaid dress and alterations
• Shoes and accessories
• Hair and makeup on the wedding day
• Travel and hotel costs
• Bachelorette party expenses
• Bridal shower contributions
• Wedding gifts

Realistically, the cost of being a bridesmaid can total several hundreds of dollars, so be prepared to budget wisely. Some weddings cost way more than that, especially destination ones.

If something's outside your budget, say so now. Not three months from now when you're stressed and resentful.

Attend Pre-Wedding Events

You'll probably be invited to several events before the actual wedding. Whether it's an engagement party, a couple's shower, or a gathering of helpers to do some wedding DIY over beers and pizza, bridesmaids are expected to attend all pre-wedding activities to the best of their abilities.

• Engagement party (if there is one)
  
• Bridal shower
• Bachelorette party
• Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
  

Not every bride has all these events. But most have at least a wedding shower and a bachelorette party. Do your best to attend. If you can't make something, let the bride know as early as possible.

Help Plan the Shower and Bachelorette Party

The maid of honor usually leads the planning for these events. But that doesn't mean you sit back and do nothing. Don't leave all of the prep work to the MOH. Offer specific help. Can you research venues? Handle decorations? Manage RSVPs? Create a playlist?

This might include helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation, as well as divvying up the costs between each bridesmaid so the bride's expenses are covered.

And about costs—everyone should agree on a budget upfront. Don't let one person plan an expensive weekend that the rest of you can't afford.

Shop for Your Dress

The bride usually picks the style, color, or overall vibe for bridesmaid dresses. Sometimes she'll choose the exact dress. Sometimes she'll give you guidelines like "long sage dresses" and let you pick your own.

Either way, you need to coordinate with the other bridesmaids so everyone's on the same page.

1. Try before you buy. If possible, do a group try-on session—either in person or over video call. This catches fit issues early, before you're rushing to fix things two weeks before the wedding. If you're shopping online, order fabric swatches first. Colors look completely different on your screen than they do in real life. And scroll through customer photos other than just the professional shots, real people in real lighting will show you what the dress actually looks like.

If something doesn't feel right, speak up now. Comfort and confidence matter, and the bride wants everyone to feel good in what they're wearing.

Pro Tip: Order fabric swatches early and compare them in daylight and with flash—camera‑friendly shades reveal themselves side by side.

2. Get measured properly. Use the specific brand's size chart, not your usual size. Sizing varies wildly between designers. A size 8 in one brand might be a 10 in another. Don't guess—measure.

3. Order early. Once you know what you're getting, order it. Bridesmaid dresses can take weeks or even months to arrive, depending on the designer.

4. Book alterations immediately. As soon as your dress arrives, schedule your first fitting. Aim for about six weeks before the wedding, and allow at least four weeks for the actual alterations. Good tailors fill up fast, especially during wedding season.

In most cases, bridesmaids pay for their own dress and any alterations needed to make it fit properly. Budget for this upfront.

Coordinate Accessories

Accessories like shoes, jewelry and hairpieces should match the wedding theme. The bride may specify items, or bridesmaids might have leeway. If she gives you guidelines (like "nude heels" or "gold jewelry"), follow them. If she wants everyone in specific shoes, coordinate early so people have time to order and break them in.

Pro tip: Opt for comfortable shoes, you'll be on your feet all day. And make sure that you break them in at home before the wedding. 

Go Dress Shopping with the Bride (If Asked)

The bride may or may not ask all of her bridesmaids to attend dress try-ons and fittings, but if she does ask and you can make one or two trips, it's a very nice gesture to tag along and offer honest but always supportive, positive advice.

Your encouragement, honest feedback, and positive energy will help her feel confident in her choice. This isn't the time to push your preferences. Ask how she feels. Notice what makes her light up.

Provide Emotional Support

Okay, this might be the most important part. Planning a wedding can be stressful. Bridesmaids should always listen, be a shoulder to cry on, and keep their spirits high.

As her best friends, siblings, relatives, and just generally the people she wants surrounding her on this huge life decision, bridesmaids carry the role of being the bride's emotional rock.

Check in with her regularly. Ask how she's feeling. Listen when she vents. Don't judge if she gets stressed about things that seem small to you—wedding planning brings out weird emotions in people.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is just show up and be present.

Assist with Wedding Tasks

From brainstorming themes to assembling wedding favors, bridesmaids often assist in a mix of wedding planning tasks. The bride might ask for help with:

• Addressing invitations
• DIY projects for decor
• Assembling favors
  
• Running errands (picking up rentals, dropping things off)
  
• Attending vendor appointments

While bridesmaids are not wedding coordinators, florists, caterers, or cake bakers, they might be asked to help with certain smaller wedding planning tasks within reason.

If you have a specific skill, offer it. Good with design? Help with invitations. Organized? Manage the RSVP spreadsheet. Don't wait to be asked for everything! Offering specific help is more useful than saying "let me know if you need anything."

Handle Your Travel and Lodging

Bridesmaids should take care of their own transportation and accommodations for the wedding weekend. It's a good idea to do this early on, so you can be sure your travel logistics are convenient to both the schedule and location of important events.

Book early, especially if it's a destination wedding or during peak season. Prices only go up as the date gets closer.

Coordinate with other bridesmaids about sharing rooms or carpools to save money, creating a group chat for logistics.

Buy Gifts

As with any other wedding guest, bridesmaids should buy a wedding gift for the couple off of their wedding registry and have it shipped to their address before the wedding.

You'll probably need to prepare a shower gift (or contribution to a group gift) and a wedding gift.

In addition to chipping in funds for the costs of the shower itself, it's customary for bridesmaids to give the couple a gift at the shower, or contribute to a large group gift.

The Wedding Day: Your Role in Action

Arrive Early and Get Ready Together

Getting ready on the wedding day is going to be an all-day event for the bridal party. Be sure to arrive on time for any hair, make-up, and photography appointments you need to attend.

Show up when you're supposed to, you don't want to get stressed, feel rushed, or even worse to cause the bride extra anxiety. Know the schedule (write it down if that helps), so you can understand when hair and makeup start, when photos begin, when you need to leave for the ceremony.

Make Sure the Bride Eats

This sounds simple but it's important. Make sure she eats and drinks (it's easy to forget when you're so focused on everything else). Bring snacks and keep water handy. She'll be running on adrenaline and might not think about food. 

Same goes for you and the other bridesmaids. Nobody wants a hangry bride or bridesmaid! Pack granola bars or something that won't stain your dress.

Be the Bride's Right Hand

On the day of the wedding, the maid of honor usually helps the bride get ready, keeps an eye on whether she's eaten or had water, helps with her dress in the restroom, holds her bouquet during the ceremony, and steps in whenever things feel a bit tense. 

Bridesmaids help too. They're there in the morning to check her hair, straighten her veil, and make sure she hasn't forgotten any accessories.

Pay attention to what she might need-sometimes it's a tissue, sometimes a quick fix on the dress, and sometimes it's just someone standing nearby while she takes a breath.

Handle the Emergency Kit

Someone should be in charge of the emergency kit—usually the maid of honor, though any bridesmaid can take the role.

So, what goes into a wedding emergency kit? Think safety pins, fashion tape, tissues, bobby pins, blotting papers, breath mints, pain relievers, band-aids, stain-remover wipes, a mini sewing kit, and feminine care items. Pack everything into a bag or small tote, and keep it easy to grab throughout the day.

Here are a few other useful additions:

• Hair ties and hairspray
• Lipstick or lip balm
• Clear nail polish (great for stopping runs in stockings)
• Scissors
• A mini mirror
• Snacks
• A phone charger
• Some cash

Walk Down the Aisle

Walking down the aisle and standing in the receiving line are the more ceremonial parts of being a bridesmaid. Take your time as you walk, smile naturally, and hold your bouquet at about belly-button height. Once you reach the front, stand where you’re supposed to and stay mindful of your posture during the ceremony.

If the bride has asked you to do a reading or give a toast, make sure you practice it beforehand. She may also assign different roles to different bridesmaids—reading a passage, giving a speech, or assisting during the reception. Try to accept these responsibilities with a good attitude, even if they push you slightly outside your comfort zone.

Participate in Photos

Bridesmaids should mingle with other guests, enjoy the food and drinks, and sit at their tables when invited. You might also help with guest-related activities, like signing the guestbook or visiting the photo booth.

But first, focus on the photos. Follow the photographer’s instructions, help gather people when needed, and be patient—photo sessions often take longer than expected. Take your own candid photos throughout the day and you'll catch sweet moments the photographer might miss.

Help Guests Feel Welcome

Arrive at the ceremony early to greet guests and help them find their seats. You can also hand out wedding programs and make sure key guests, like family members, feel recognized as they enter the reception.

Not everyone knows the couple well, so being friendly and helpful makes a big difference. Answer questions when you can, point people to bathrooms or the bar, and introduce guests who may not know each other.

Keep the Energy Up

Listen to the toasts, join in for the first dance and parent dances. And when the dance floor opens? Get out there. Don't wait for the crowd. Your job is to make it look fun so other guests feel comfortable joining in.

Handle Small Crises Calmly

Weddings rarely go perfectly. A dress might tear, someone could spill wine, or a bustle might break. Stay calm, grab your emergency kit, and quietly fix what you can so the bride doesn’t have to worry.

As a bridesmaid, you often act as a point of contact for the wedding planner, helping handle small issues and answering questions from the bridal party. For bigger problems, find the planner or coordinator—don’t try to solve vendor issues yourself.

After the Wedding: Wrapping Up

Help with Cleanup

After the wedding, there's still a lot to be done. As a bridesmaid, make sure you stay as long as you can to help the wedding couple with the post-wedding responsibilities. Bridesmaids usually help the maid of honor, coordinator, or the couple's parents gather items that need to leave the venue at the end of the night.

This might include:

• Packing up decorations or centerpieces
• Collecting gifts and cards
• Making sure personal items don't get left behind
  
• Getting the bride's dress safely to wherever it needs to go

Most venues have staff who handle the main cleanup, but there are always personal items, gifts, and special decor that someone needs to deal with. That someone is often you.

Oversee Thank-You Cards (Optional)

During the bridal shower and after the wedding, keep track of what gifts were received and who sent them. Once things settle down, the bride will have an easy-to-follow list for writing thank-you cards.

Some bridesmaids like to help address envelopes or organize the gift list. This isn’t required, but it can be really helpful if you have the time.

Share Your Photos

Upload your candid photos to a shared folder within a few days. You probably caught moments the official photographer missed—people laughing during dinner, weird dance moves, quiet conversations. Before you post anything on social media, check with the bride. Some couples like to share their own photos first, so it’s always best to ask before posting.

The Difference Between Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid

The male equivalent is a groomsman—called an usher in British English. In the US, groomsmen mostly focus on helping the groom, while ushers handle guests.

For bridesmaids, it’s simpler: your main job is to be supportive and help out as needed. The maid of honor (MOH) takes on a few extra responsibilities.

The MOH usually:

• Plans the bachelorette party and bridal shower (with help from bridesmaids)
  
• Acts as the main point of contact for the bride
• Helps her get ready on the wedding day
• Holds her bouquet during the ceremony
• Gives a speech or toast at the reception
• Maybe signs the marriage license as a witness
  

Bridesmaids support the MOH. You don’t have to lead everything, but helping out and showing up for events is part of the gig.

What You Really Need to Know

Being a bridesmaid is not just about completing lists or attending every event, but about standing by someone important during an unforgettable moment in their life. All the arrangements and efforts contribute to the experience, yet the essence lies in open communication and understanding, setting healthy boundaries when needed, and offering genuine support through presence and laughter. What truly matters is not perfect execution, but being part of the joy, making memories, and sharing the happiness and meaning of the day together with your friend.